I'm passionate about philosophy, but after having my girls I'm even more passionate about Mommy Matters

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Truly Important Things

I didn't think that I would get married as young as I did (20 years old), I imagined that if I got married then I would be at least done with graduate school and have a "career". I had many academic goals and hated it when people distracted me from them.
     There was a time in my life when I was 19 and decided to forgo dating for awhile, the guys I dated were weird and I didn't have fun with them. They were just distractions, I wanted to focus on school and work. Then Engineer came into my life. We were in the same institute class at the University of Utah. We were nice to each other, casually said "hello" in the mornings before class. There were a couple of times when I was curious about what he was reading or doing, but I never asked. I didn't want to get involved and I figured that if he was interested in friendship or dating then he would come talk to me. By the time it was about half way through the semester I figured he wasn't interested and we would simply continue saying "hello" every once in awhile. However, one morning before class, Engineer asked me what I was listening to. I love my music and listen to it often, plus I enjoy talking about it. Needless to say this was the right question to ask in order to begin a new kind of relationship. We talked awhile before class about the music we liked and how neither of us had been to a show in awhile, then class started and that was that. Well, I thought it was anyway. For some reason I couldn't get this guy out of my head the rest of the day, he was sweet and listened. He seemed different from other guys I knew, but I reminded myself that he had just asked me about my music and I hardly knew him. Maybe he would turn out to be a good friend, but nothing more. 
     The next time we talked before class he said he wanted to make a deal with me (I'm pretty sure "deal" was the word he used). I asked him what kind of deal and he said that since neither of us had been to a show in a long time, if either of us heard about one we wanted to go to then we should go together. I agreed to this, it sounded like a fun plan and better than him flat out asking me on a date, only to take me to a movie I didn't want to see. I decided that this was a good excuse for swapping cell phone numbers, which we did, and I actually remember thinking about how excited I was to get his number. The rest of the day I thought about how much I wanted to text him, just because I could. So, when I was on the train heading home after school I sent him a text, it was something flirty and stupid that had to do with the weather like "it's pretty windy out there, just making sure you didn't fly away". I felt like an idiot. I couldn't believe that I felt this way about a guy, usually it was the complete opposite and I only gave out my number or took a guy's number because I felt obligated or cornered into it somehow. The guy was always the one to text me first too, I didn't go out of my way to flirt with guys. Anyway, he was nice and we messaged back and forth for awhile before I decided that I would definitely need to find a show to go to soon. Luckily, I did and decided to get the nerve to ask him to go with me. That is how Engineer was clever enough to get me to ask him on our first date. I even sent him the text messages in German when I told him about it (he went on an LDS mission to Germany and was/is fluent in German). I was such a dork, using Google translate and sounded like a moron. He seemed to like me anyway, probably thought it was cute and weird.
     We went to a Vampire Weekend show, I made him a mix of their music before we went because he hadn't heard them before (this was at the beginning of 2010 when their music wasn't in commercials and video games yet). I actually went over to my friend's house and discussed what I was going to wear before he picked me up, Husband is probably going to get a huge head after reading this because I haven't told him all of these details before either. After I had my clothes right, my hair and makeup done (I actually wore lipstick, I never wear lipstick) I waited for him and began to panic when he was a little late. I remember thinking that this was the first time since I had started college that I wished the guy wouldn't stand me up and he was totally going to. (I literally did wish that the guys would just not show up so I didn't have to go, or would call and cancel.) He called me (I thought it would be to cancel), but said sorry that he was running behind and he would be there soon. I was relieved when he showed up at my door. We ate dinner before the show and I remember talking most of the time, which he was fine with because he is a pretty quiet guy at first. Seeing Vampire Weekend was really fun and we still talked between songs, got to know each other little by little. He was surprised when he found out I was only 19, I asked him how old he thought I was and he said that I seemed more mature. When he first talked to me he thought I was at least his age (21), if not older. He knew just what to say. 
     Well, there wasn't anything exciting like holding his hand or kissing on our first date, but I felt like it was still a success. He did too and we were together a lot after that. The rest is, as they say, history. We only dated 2.5 months before he asked me to marry him and "yes" was the easiest answer I've ever given to any question in my entire life. We had been ring shopping a little, I showed him some things that I liked and he made the final decision on which one. The day he asked the big question he actually tricked me because I thought he was picking me up to check another jewelry store. When he came into my apartment he said that he had something he had been meaning to ask me, very casually and I had no clue it was such an important question. Then he got down on one knee and asked me, I was so surprised and couldn't believe this was the moment I would never forget: the moment I became someone's fiancĂ©.
     We were only engaged for a little over two months before we were married in the Mount Timpanogos temple. It was the best pain-free day of my life (the best painful day of my life being the one when I brought our daughter into the world, of course). The reason I decided to write about this today is because it was three years ago today that we were married and I am even more in love with him now than I was then. I think it is important for people, especially busy parents, to stop and really ponder upon their significant other, remembering why they chose each other and how it felt to first fall in love with them. It is so easy to forget these important things during the rat race of life, but I am grateful that I have remembered it all today. I feel closer to Husband than I ever have before because we are raising a beautiful child together.
     I didn't know that falling in love, getting married, and having a baby would become such welcomed distractions from my chosen path. I would rather be at home with them, being a stay at home mother, than employed by someone else or continuing my education away from home. The life I enjoy now has brought me more happiness than I thought possible. 
     I love you Engineer/Husband/Hot One! Thank you for being the man I need, a wonderful husband and an amazing father to our baby girl. 


  1. AWWWWWWWW!!!!!! I love you guys!

  2. you both are completely adorable. i am super blessed to know you.

  3. Your story has made my day.