I'm passionate about philosophy, but after having my girls I'm even more passionate about Mommy Matters

Monday, June 24, 2013

23 Years Old Does Feel Different

    So, you know how every time you have a birthday at least one person asks you if you feel different? Well, obviously most of the time you say "no" because no one changes all at once overnight. Even though this still holds true for me this year, I also can't help but ponder about how different I am at 23 years old and how quickly I have changed. It still wasn't an overnight/all at once change, but my priorities are so different now and I feel more at peace about life than I ever have before. This change has been within only a couple of short months as and weeks.
     Saturday was my birthday and it started off with the best birthday gift I have ever been given, a letter from my husband. The contents of which described not only his love and appreciation for me, but his desire for us to continue to have a wonderful relationship into the distant future. He is an amazing man who is perfect for me, without him I don't know that I would have ever gotten married to be honest and if I did I can't imagine anyone else in the world making me as happy as he does. Another very special thing about my birthday this year was the fact that I am a mother and I was able to share it with Squeaker, which my father-in-law pointed out is much better than the morning sickness that accompanied my birthday last year. When I turned 22 I spent some of the time with family and I threw up 3 or 4 times on the car ride back home. I'm really glad that I get to change dirty diapers instead of being sick, a pretty good trade off considering that Squeaker smiles and talks to me the whole time. 
     I just have to say that I love my family and my close friends. My mother-in-law was generous enough to babysit for us so that Husband and I could go on a date Saturday night. We saw the new Star Trek movie, which was pretty good and I'm glad that I got to see it in the theater. We used to see movies all of the time, but since Squeaker was born we have seen two (which is still pretty good since some couples go years without stepping foot into a movie theater after having their first baby). Two of my closest friends also made sure that my birthday was fantastic, spending time with me Saturday morning and making me an incredible birthday dinner last night!

My best friend even made me this awe-inspiring berry pie from scratch. (I'm more of a pie person than a cake person and berry pie is my favorite!)


     When Husband asked me that age-old question, "do you feel any different?" I actually had to stop and think, because I do. Not only am I a mother this year, but I also live in a unbelievably perfect little house, I feel more appreciated and loved than I ever have before thanks to my close friends and family, I value being a full-time mother more than I thought I ever would and actually chose it for my career, I'm not going to graduate school like I would have chosen to just a few months ago, even though we don't have very much money I feel more at peace and less anxious than I ever have before, and I trust my Heavenly Father more than I thought could be possible because he has worked miracles for me in the last few weeks. Us being in this house is a miracle, being able to afford all we need and then some is a miracle, having a healthy baby is a huge miracle as well when I know so many people who struggle with their babies having birth defects or being sick often, and being free from feeling guilty/anxious/stressed/nervous (which unfortunately not too long ago was my default setting) is the biggest and best miracle I could have ever imagined. Not many people know this about me, but I have been to therapy a few times in my life because I simply worried about things beyond my control and didn't have good coping skills. Striving to be close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ while raising my child has turned out to be the best therapy for me. I am so grateful for my life journey that started 23 years ago and I am so grateful to have so many amazing people to share it with. 


This is one of my favorite pictures of Husband and I, we were at Moab in May 2012. (I was pregnant, but didn't know it yet)





    Our best friends and Husband on the same Moab trip. It was a crazy amazing trip! We camped out for a couple of days and the first night was soooooo windy, our tent almost collapsed in on us.



     

   
    I just haven't posted this picture of Squeaker before when she was a month old and I love it.










 No further explanation necessary
   

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